UK Crop production fears as entrepreneurial farmers switch to hosting “extreme” events

UK farmers are increasingly coming under fire due to reports that thousands of acres of prime crop farmland are being re-purposed to run “extreme” events seemingly fueled by an insatiable demand for people looking for sponsorship and ‘stuff to put on social media’

The move comes as a hammer blow to the UK economy with food prices already reaching record highs, with some experts predicting an additional 20% premium on most basic crop types by the year end.

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Farmer Robinson prepares his fields for UltimateMudFest

Farmer Robinson owner of UltimateMudFest says he’s just making the most money with the resources at hand,

“I earn more letting this bunch of self righteous wankers run round my field for a few days than I did growing traditional crops all year, it’s an absolute no brainer, like flies round crap they just cannot get enough, which is great because my fields are absolutely full of it”
Farmer Giles living it up in his Ferrari Enzo. Photo -

Farmer Giles of SuperHyperToughRun was similarly nonchalant towards any potential crisis,

“I charge people as much as I can to run round my fields, which is usually about £50 a head, they go home feeling like they’ve saved the world and I go home in a Ferrari, mugs, the lot of them.”

Critics of the events are quick to remind participants that generally running through fields should be free, and that collecting sponsorship can be for a wide array of activities regardless of fancy websites, a simple activity alone can be just as rewarding, such as throwing yourself off a bridge.


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